Thursday, July 17, 2008


I have been thinking a lot about my grandmother this summer especially when my cousin lost her infant son on July 4. My grandmother died 13 years ago and sometimes the pain still feels as if she only died yesterday. My grandmother was an awesome lady who in the last 20 years of her life was confined to a wheelchair with degenerative arthritis and even though her joints hurt during daily chores she never complained. She took care of me and my sister because my mom, her baby, owned a video rental store that kept her and my dad away from home a lot. Grandma was devoted to her family. Every Christmas Eve we were all at her house for dinner and by all I mean no one in our family missed. Most of the time extended families showed up too. My other grandmother used to come with us when she moved back from Florida and many other in-laws attended as well. It wasn't that we got big gifts from grandma because she lived on a small income it was the love. She would find us each a special gift and then she would sit in the middle of the room in her wheelchair and watch as each of us opened our gifts; grandkids opened first, her children opened next, and then everyone watched as grandma and grandpa opened thier gifts from us. Luckily since my parents owned a video store we had access to video cameras back then and I have the last two Christmas tapes before grandpa died. I watch them for about five mintues and then have to shut them off because I can't watch anymore. Since my grandma died our family has sort of fallen apart. I have not been around many of my aunts and cousins for years since I live almost 3 hours away and they have all changed. None of the family gets together for Christmas Eve anymore, several of my cousins can't even stand each now, and my I don't know the names of half of their children. At the funeral I had to have my mom tell me which kid belonged to which cousin. I was thinking of my grandma at the funeral because I know she took my cousin Mandy's baby in her arms when he arrived in Heaven that morning. I also thought of her when my aunt went up to Mandy at the funeral home and used her index to brush hair out of Mandy's face. Grandma used to use her index finger to push hair out of my face and I realized that we are not the same without her but we all have a part of her in us. My mom is loyal to her sisters no matter how many times they treat her poorly, my cousin Jennifer loves to hold babies just like grandma, my aunt Kathy rubs her hands together when she gets excited about stuff, my cousin Jeanettea looks like my grandma in the face, and my aunt Karen pushes hair out of our faces just like grandma did. I know when she died of breast cancer that she went to a better place and I wouldn't want her back in the condition she was when she died. I just miss her because she was one of those people who come into your life and change it forever.

Anyway back to work- must get the house clean and write for fifteen minutes today because I want to finish Laurie's challenge.

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